Still running...

Hi everyone,
I'm still running from menopause. It seems like I ran the NYC Marathon several months ago but it was just over 3 weeks ago. As you can imagine, it was surreal. I took a week off running and slowly I began running again.... okay maybe not slow enough but you know I need this. I don't feel like I over did it but I had to keep moving. I signed up for 2 turkey trots (now complete), the Hot Chocolate Run (a 15k in San Francisco) in January and finally the Bay to Breakers in May 2016. I'm looking for a good half marathon somewhere in between, but for now I'm training for the 15k. 

I have to say that I am proud of myself. I didn't just quit after the marathon. I continued to look at this as an experiment - figuring out what to do to make my old body stronger so I can run more efficiently. I know I need to train on the hills and really build strength. I know this running thing is a journey and some days I'll be strong and other days, I just won't (hey- kind of like life, right?) 

I still really need to check my EGO.... I ran the school Turkey Trot on Friday, Nov 20 with my fav Senior girls. I signed us up for a non-competitive run but damn, you couldn't tell. These kids run really fast. We came in last of our heat because, well, I'm slow. I won't lie, it bothered me. I also ran a Turkey Trot in Walnut Creek on Thanksgiving and I did really well. I ran a 9:46 per mile pace and I was very happy with that! I actually finished with my brother and my niece.  I was so happy with my endurance and how my body responded. 

It's so funny when I start a run that there is always this nagging thought - oh no, this is hard, why the hell am I doing this? I just know how much it helps. My new mantra is - It's not what I am, it's what I want to be. So I'm pretending... I'm pretending to be strong and able. I'm pretending to be confident in my ability. I'm pretending to be an athlete. When I'm not running the feeling just carries over. Things that would have bothered me - JUST DOESN'T. Things that are important me are crystal clear and everything else JUST DOESN'T MATTER. I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I have faced my Inner Critic and EGO and I'm okay. Oh I'm sure they'll still slap me upside my head but I'll be able to pull through. 

One other aspect of my running journey is art, creativity, and vulnerability.  Running gives me time to think about what I want to create. Sometimes it is just right in front of my face but it isn't clear until I'm off running. In fact everything becomes clearer. I'm actually becoming more comfortable with my vulnerability. One day after school I went to run on our high school track, but when I went there the football team was still practicing. Okay, I did not want to run around that track with the team there. I went to the adjacent grass field... but when I went to tie my shoelace a little tighter, I lost my footing and fell into the sticker bush. Picking stickers out of my butt was well, embarrassing. I decided to run on Foothill Rd. and damn it was hilly. I really felt outside of my comfort zone but I just kept moving. This is what I need to hold on to... just keep moving. Just keep doing. 

Well, sorry if I'm rambling but it's been awhile. Go out there and DO EPIC SHIT! Whatever that looks like... do it. Take a risk.